Hi Amy! I am SO glad that you took the time to write your comment. Since reading it, I have researched Palliative Care and we have a doctors appointment coming up for her and I am going to ask about this. Bless you for sharing. I miss my old mom too. Sending my best thoughts and prayers as we both learn how to be caregivers. Deb

Katie, Thank you SO much for commenting. It has already helped me immensely. I have thought about getting some kind of medication to help her with her anxiety. And as soon as I finish typing this I am going to find “The 24 hr day” so I can read it. One of the greatest things about the internet is to be able to instantly connect with people who are experiencing the same thing as you. We would like to keep her with us for as long as we can but are also very realistic knowing this may not be possible until the very end but we will take this day by day. And I will also learn about what hospice services are available in our area. Again thank you so much for sharing this info. I appreciate it more than you know. Hugs, Deb

Debi, thanks so much. Sounds like you are experiencing a similar thing with your mother. My best wishes to you and your sister as you care for your mom. Give her a hug for me. Deb

Oh Sharon. I can barely type my response to you because my eyes are full of tears and I can barely see. I have often wondered why some people linger in their old age and why they don’t just pass. My mother’s quality of life is deteriorating and I hate so much to see her struggling. But the answer that comes to me is that sometimes they don’t stay on this earth for themselves, but they stay on this earth because other people have some lessons to learn as they give care to them. I would have to say that I have learned more about myself than at any other time thus far. Why do life lessons have to be so hard?! lol

And the next time we eat a Filet-o-Fish, I am going to think of you. Thank you SO much for your comment!
Hugs,
Deb

Hi Jody! Yes we are going to try and keep her with us as along as we can. A thanks so much for your sweet comment.

It’s hard being human sometimes isn’t it? Even though I know the immense struggle that my mother is having, I still get irritated sometimes and I hate it! And I can certainly relate about my hubby. I didn’t even address that in my post but very few men would allow their mother-in-law living with them, let alone having a mother-in-law with Alzheimer’s. My husband is a saint and treats my mother SO kindly and sometimes I thinks she loves him more than me! We are both so lucky to have these men who are giants in my mind.

Hi Connie, Thanks so much for your kind words. I loved where you wrote that love can still shine through because I know that will be in my future, when my mother no longer remembers me and my sisters. I will need to remember that on the hard days. I’m so glad that you took a moment to comment. It made my day!

I can remember mornings when I’d have to decide: do I want to feel guilty (and not go visit them) or sad and angry (if I did go). No good choices.

We lost more and more of them as time wore on, and at the end for each of them, the “long good bye” was done. My prayers are with you and your family, and I hope that you find the strength to continue to care for your mother. She is very lucky to have a daughter such as you.

P.S. Filet-o-fish is MY favorite, too!

After my great-aunt got dementia, she fell, broke her hip and wound up in a nursing home because my uncle was simply unable to care for her physically at that point. He was in her room all day every single day and whenever anyone suggested that he should leave and get some rest because she didn’t know him anyway, he always replied “But I know her.” Eventually, he wound up simply moving into the nursing home, into her room. Once, when I visited, he went to eat his lunch, and my aunt said. “You know, that is the nicest man. I don’t know who he is, but he is just so nice.” I found that so encouraging, to know that love could still shine through, at least sometimes.

You’ll have bittersweet memories – but you will know that you showed her all the love you could.