You’re standing by the front door, gift wrapped in hand, coat on, ready to go. The company Christmas party starts in 45 minutes and it takes 40 to get there so you can be a little early. But something seems to be missing. Actually someONE is missing. Oh right, your spouse.

They got out of their 20-25 minute shower ten minutes ago insisting they would be ready in those ten minutes. But you know all too well they still need to do their hair, pick out their outfit (after trying on three others), choose their shoes, maybe throw on some makeup, re-check their hair and outfit, spray the cologne/perfume and grab a snack because “the party doesn’t start for 45 minutes and they won’t even serve the food after all the introductions!”

This happens almost every single time you guys go out and it always leaves you waiting by the door tapping your foot. Your spouse apologizes every time for being/making you late and reminds you they are trying. You know they are, and are sincerely sorry, so you love them yet another day. But you still wish things would change, right? You can’t keep making people wait on you guys and you are sick of always missing the opening credits! I mean, come on! They’re you’re favorite part!

Don’t fret. I’m here! I have the answers. I am going to give you tips on how you can help your loved one become their most punctual self – or at least try to. And I’m sure you’re wondering how I have these answers. Because it’s me. I AM the always late, rushing, care-free like person who finds her husband waiting at the front door each time they go ANYWHERE. I’ll tell you… I can’t remember the last time we saw the opening credits at the movies. Sorry babe, I’m trying!

1. First and foremost, open up. It’s crucial to explain your frustrations as well as find out what their definition of punctuality is. More likely than not it’s going to be different than yours. For example, to me being on time is getting to a 6 p.m. event at 6 p.m., but to my husband it’s arriving 15-20 minutes early. We have very different definitions of punctuality. Figure out their reasons and motives for why they take the time they do to get ready! They probably have very specific reasons and they probably aren’t doing it to be spiteful or disrespectful in anyway. Just talking about these things will open so many doors to finding the core issue!
2. Simplify, simplify, simplify. You’re busy, they’re busy, we’re all busy. Most people don’t love coming home to a long to-do list knowing they have limited time to knock off every item but some do! Maybe you’re that person. Maybe your spouse is not. Try to keep what you schedule to a minimum so your spouse doesn’t start to feel overwhelmed. You could even inform whoever you’re meeting and most likely, because they know you and your spouse, they’ll be understanding and grateful for the heads up! Also, try removing any obstacles or distractions that could get in the way. Have the dishes put away ahead of time or keep the TV off. Everyone will be able to move at a quicker rate and improve their punctuality without distractions!
3. Create more routines and structure. Having nothing to do is almost worse than having too much to do because things can be put off for too long. If you have a daily routine, such as getting home from work and immediately loading the dishwasher with the dishes from breakfast, sweeping the floor, tidying the room, etc. before doing anything else, it will set more structure in the home and will help during the times you need your spouse to be more time sensitive. You’ll be able to be okay with skipping a step to add more time. Maybe try assigning different tasks so if you finish getting ready first you can do a few chores while they get ready and vice versa.
4. Time. Buffer. Personally, I know this works. People have played this trick on me so much that I now have caught on and know when they’re giving me the right times or not! Try telling your spouse you’re needed earlier than you really are so you can assure they’ll be ready on time! Just be aware they may catch on eventually…. then you’ll need a new tactic.

If these tips don’t seem to be working and you feel you’ve tried everything, take a step back. Figure out a way to accept it and move on! If you can, look at yourself to find out why your spouse’s tardiness keeps getting on your nerves. If you need to take two cars, do it. They’ll get the picture. Just make sure you’re doing all you can to stay calm, collected and try to be understanding.

Everyone is different and these tips may not work for your loved one with their punctuality, so test them out! Find what works! I hope I’ve been able to bring more insight into why your spouse is always so late! And remember, they are trying!

Did these tips help? You might find these posts helpful as well!

Five Tips for Living with Messy People

Seven Reasons Your Spouse May Be Sabotaging Your Healthy Lifestyle

18 Simple Keys to a Happy Marriage

The post Tips to Fix the Punctuality Problem appeared first on TGIF - This Grandma is Fun.

The real problem we seem to face, whether we’re a total mess, half mess, or not messy at all, is learning how to live with someone who is more messy than us! No matter the mess we seem to have in our own lives, it always feels as though the other “messy person” is… messier. And dealing with it is often times no bueno.

So how do we deal with the different problems that arise because of the messiness without hurting any feelings or pointing blame? It’s a tough game to play, but today I have five tried and true ways to settle any disputes you may have going on at home that can keep your relationships strong and thriving. First, let’s dive into a few areas where you may be seeing problems arise the most.

KITCHEN

The kitchen is somewhere we all love to be. But we don’t love it to be a disaster! Keeping your kitchen clean is important not just for looks and feel but for your overall health too! Besides the bathroom, the kitchen harbors the most bacteria which can spread like wild fire if not cleaned properly.

BEDROOM

When you think of winding down after a long day, you most likely think of the bedroom. You’re able to fall onto your bed and wrap up in your favorite blanket. But then you see four of your husband’s shirts balled up next to you and blankets all on the floor. A messy bed is only one of many things that can take away your anticipated relaxation!

BATHROOM

A bathroom should be a germ-free sanctuary. A place to take care of yourself after a long day. When the bathroom is dirty – towels on the floor, toothpaste in the sink – relaxing is hard to do! Especially when you weren’t the one who made the mess. Maybe you left one towel on the floor after your morning shower, but you were in a hurry and promised to pick it up when you got home.

5 Tips For Living With A Messy Person

#1. BE PRACTICAL!

You might need to lower your expectations here just a bit. If the person you love isn’t used to being a “neat freak” like you wish they would, it’s going to take time for them to make improvements. Don’t give them jobs that are going to be too much to handle and only make them not want to do it more!

#2: CONVERSE!

Do not put this off! The longer you wait the more the steam is going to build. While you’re talking, be calm and collected. This will help them to understand where you’re coming from. You can also come up with a compromise by letting them know if they do this for you, you are more than willing to do something for them and finish with deciding on a reward or incentive!

#3: ASK FOR HELP!

Let them know you need help in this area of your life. Explain to them how living a cleaner life will benefit you both in many ways whether it’s with your health or better sleep at night. Instead of nagging them to clean up more or help you more, try asking how you can help them! It’ll show you care about helping them improve over your own well being.

#4: DEVELOP ROUTINE!

Baby steps. You can’t just throw it all at them at once. Developing a routine will make cleaning seem easy and doable! Try a divide and conquer tactic. That way you’ll both be working together to get the job done. You can also try a tabata routine which means 10 minutes of work, 10 minutes rest. Repeat until finished! Also, designate preferred clutter spots. It’s okay if something has a few piles as long as the rest is tidy and in place.

#5: REMEMBER WHY YOU’RE TOGETHER!

This whole process can be frustrating. That’s why it is crucial to stay patient and continue to remind yourself why you’re together. You didn’t choose to be together simply for their tidiness! Odds are there are a million other reasons you choose to be together ever single day. Try making lists or saying these reasons to yourself out loud or to your partner!

And remember, during this whole thing, always find ways to have a lot of fun!

Did these tips help? You might find these posts helpful as well!

Seven Reasons Your Spouse May Be Sabotaging Your Healthy Lifestyle

18 Simple Keys to a Happy Marriage

25 Engaging Questions to Ask Your Hubby Besides, “How Was Your Day?”

The post 5 Tips For Living With Messy People appeared first on TGIF - This Grandma is Fun.

Picture this: You’re sitting at home watching a movie with your spouse. It’s Friday night and you’re both winding down from a long workweek. You have your favorite movie playing: Moonrise Kingdom, a Wes Anderson classic.

Friday night movie night is your favorite weekly ritual. It’s a time when you and your spouse can finally sit back and relax together. What makes this night even more special is the designated movie treat you take turns choosing. In an attempt to be extra amazing, your spouse picked up two extra thick Oreo shakes with an extra box of Oreo’s for dipping. You’ve kept your commitment to make healthy habits all week. But when you see your spouse standing there with their cute smile and that creamy delicious escape in their hands, you collapse into their arms, press play on the remote and dig in.

Sound familiar? I know it definitely does for me. You want nothing more than to have a healthy lifestyle. You’re sick and tired of feeling sick and tired all the time. You wake up every day feeling bloated, lethargic and it’s as if your joints have swelled three times their size during the night. You don’t have the energy you used to when running around with your kids after school. It’s becoming a strain on your relationships. It’s time to make a change.

But there is one thing holding you back…your spouse.

Your spouse is the sweetest person you’ve ever met. They love you for you and are your biggest supporter! When you got married you promised to be there for each other no matter what. So why do they seem to be the one always standing in your way to have a healthy lifestyle?!

I’m here to help ease your mind a bit and let you know how your spouse may be completely sabotaging your plans for a healthier YOU.

1. Busy days

-Similar to the scenario above, some weeks may be harder, longer, more tiring than others. This makes it easier to fall into habits you may not wish for because your body simply wants anything that is easily accessible/comforting. Your spouse clearly needs the same thing and if they also want/need easy access they’re going to think you want or need it as well.

2. Hurt feelings

-People feel happiness and satisfaction in doing things for others. Especially spouses. If you came home from a long day at work and your spouse brought home your most favorite dessert, it’ll be much harder to turn down the offering. You don’t want to hurt their feelings because they did this kind gesture just for you! If you’re trying to make changes, you need to make sure they understand your intentions and that you’re not mad at them.

3. They’re already fit

-Your spouse may have the metabolism where it’s perfectly fine to eat whatever and they won’t gain a pound. This is hard for you because you’re not this way! And that’s perfectly okay! The problem is if they want dessert they have it and they don’t understand how hard it is for you to say no.

4. Insecure/unhealthy themselves

-Maybe you and your spouse have been living an unhealthy lifestyle. You may have been raised in a family where everyone ate healthy food, were very active, etc. Your spouse may have grown up the opposite way: eating out six days a week, spending most of their time indoors, staying up late. You’ve found comfort in this lifestyle for a long time so making the decision to change is scary! Whether you make the decision or not, it will be hard for your spouse because they may not be ready to make a change for themselves quite yet. They’re still too insecure about their lifestyle choices to make a drastic change yet.

5. Doesn’t see the need to help

-When you got married you made promises to always be there for each other no matter what. Unfortunately that may not always come true. Your spouse may see a lifestyle change as only something you need to make. They’re completely content with exactly where they are in life so why change something good? What they don’t realize is how maybe making simple, small changes will make all the difference for you.

6. They’re lazy/not into fitness

-Not everyone loves to do 100 burpees or run 26.2 miles or even lift 25lb dumbbells. Having a healthy lifestyle does also require some type of physical activity along with eating right. Whether that’s killing yourself in they gym everyday, biking, or walking, just being active will kick your metabolism into gear and help get you where you want to go. If your spouse isn’t into the gym scene, try getting them to go walking with you.

7. They’re afraid you won’t love them anymore

-This is what everyone is afraid of. Ok so you’ve made your list of goals, done the necessary shopping for your meal prepping, you’re going to sleep more, get outside and spend more time with the kids. You sit your spouse down to go over these things so you can know whether they’ll be on board. All you’re looking for is a simple, “That sounds great Honey, I support you 100%!” But instead you get a sigh followed with, “This sounds great Hon and I’m happy for you. But what happens when you make these changes but I’m still the way I am? Why would you have any reason to still love me?” These are tough questions but they’re honest and sincere. Trust me, having these one-on-ones will end up being extremely beneficial for your plans as well as your overall relationship.

I hope these reasons have been able to give you a bit more clarity as to why your spouse may be doing these things or acting the way they are.  Soon we’ll dive into how you can help them understand your reasons and need for wanting to change!

Did you like this post? Check out these other relationship posts!

18 Simple Keys To A Happier Marriage

25 Engaging Questions to Ask Your Hubby Besides “How Was Your Day?”

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