I failed typing my freshman year of high school. That makes me sound so old. Typing? Really? If they even taught that anymore what would it be called? Keyboarding? I promise I can relate this back to Cinnamon Roll Waffles. Stick with me if you are in the mood for a funny story. If you are not in the mood, skip down to the last paragraph and get the nitty gritty on a great way to make a quick breakfast. Are you wondering what happened and why I failed? According to my teacher, gummy bears + boredom = destruction of school property. Which is bad, really bad. It was school policy at the time that if you destroy school property, you are not allowed to take the final. Which was 50% of the grade. Automatic fail. What did I do with gummy bears that was so awful? What did I destroy? How did I do it? Alright, I will tell you.
Step back in time with me. We are now in the 80’s and there is a marvelous new invention. The typewriter no longer has individual keys, but now has a ball with the letters all over it. It is the latest, greatest thing. And my school had just updated to them. I was actually a pretty good typist, but I just couldn’t stop trying to figure out how the letters were arranged on that ball. Was it arranged by upper and lower case letters? Was it by letter combinations such as ea, ck, th, ou, and so on? Was it arranged by size, so as to fit all the letters on the ball as tightly as possible? These are the types of things I was trying to figure out while I was supposed to be learning the home row keys (asdfjkl;). Each day we would have a few lines the teacher would put on the projector. She would turn out the lights so that we couldn’t look at the keyboard, and we were supposed to type those lines, then hand in our paper to be graded according to correctness. Mine were abysmally wrong. I was busy testing out theories about how that ball was arranged.
She asked to speak with me. “What are you doing? This isn’t even close to what I put on the board!” There was only one thing to do. Admit that I couldn’t tear myself away from trying to figure out that ball. Her solution, after repeated attempts at getting me to pay attention to typing, rather than the typewriter, was to put me back on one of the old machines with the individual keys. She said the school hadn’t gotten around to disposing of them yet. So, she kept one just for me. Everyone else in class was allowed to sit wherever they wanted. I was the only one with not only an assigned seat, but an assigned typewriter. And I was still good at typing, and still bored out of my mind. That was when someone gave me a huge bag of gummy bears. I don’t like gummy bears. I don’t even know why I took them. There I was in typing class, lights off, with something to do, I just wasn’t doing it. Instead of typing the assignment, I got the bright idea to see if I put the gummy bear in just the right place on the roller and then hit the key really hard, would the gummy bear stick to the key? Answer: yes, it would. I then wondered, could I create an rainbow army of bears all the way across the keys? It took the entire class, but yes, yes, I could. At the end of class I faced a dilemma. Should I destroy my art? Yes, yes I should. But I didn’t. It was my personal typewriter for goodness sake, and I had worked hard all class to accomplish this fete. If you go to high school in California where it is nice and warm, where they don’t bother with air conditioning, and if your class is right before lunch, leaving your rainbow army of bears in the typewriter is not a good idea. Especially if you are the last class of the day, right before the weekend. Turns out, gummy bears melt a little when they get hot over the weekend. And then they get sticky. And sticky doesn’t just wash off. And now the typewriter was ruined.
I tried to argue that since that typewriter was destined for the trash anyway, it was really no loss. It was a good argument that didn’t get me far. I am a high school graduate and have some attended some college (I will get my degree some day! I take a class a semester. I might walk with my kids!), by the way. So if your kids get a little too creative and fail a class, have hope. They might turn out to be a decent human being anyway. Maybe they will start a blog and tell their story. Which leads me to Cinnamon Roll Waffles. After my gummy bear disaster, one might think I would shy away from the idea of putting something into my waffle iron that does not belong there. Something that might melt, and get sticky. But no, it didn’t stop me. In fact, this is my second try getting creative with my waffle iron. Hash Browns in the waffle iron were not such a hit. So it really was bold of me when I bought my refrigerated Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll cylinder, popped it open and plopped it in my waffle iron. Less than two minutes later, they were soft, cinnamon sugar heaven. I melted the frosting in the microwave for 15 seconds and drizzled it over our baby waffles. Delish! Mormon Mavens in the Kitchen got this idea from a Hen’s Nest.Don’t try gummy bears in a typewriter. Do try cinnamon rolls in a waffle iron.
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