Tips to Fix a Punctuality Problem
You’re standing by the front door, gift wrapped in hand, coat on, ready to go. The company Christmas party starts in 45 minutes and it takes 40 to get there so you can be a little early. But something seems to be missing. Actually someONE is missing. Oh right, your spouse.
They got out of their 20-25 minute shower ten minutes ago insisting they would be ready in those ten minutes. But you know all too well they still need to do their hair, pick out their outfit (after trying on three others), choose their shoes, maybe throw on some makeup, re-check their hair and outfit, spray the cologne/perfume and grab a snack because “the party doesn’t start for 45 minutes and they won’t even serve the food after all the introductions!”
This happens almost every single time you guys go out and it always leaves you waiting by the door tapping your foot. Your spouse apologizes every time for being/making you late and reminds you they are trying. You know they are, and are sincerely sorry, so you love them yet another day. But you still wish things would change, right? You can’t keep making people wait on you guys and you are sick of always missing the opening credits! I mean, come on! They’re you’re favorite part!
Don’t fret. I’m here! I have the answers. I am going to give you tips on how you can help your loved one become their most punctual self – or at least try to. And I’m sure you’re wondering how I have these answers. Because it’s me. I AM the always late, rushing, care-free like person who finds her husband waiting at the front door each time they go ANYWHERE. I’ll tell you… I can’t remember the last time we saw the opening credits at the movies. Sorry babe, I’m trying!
- First and foremost, open up. It’s crucial to explain your frustrations as well as find out what their definition of punctuality is. More likely than not it’s going to be different than yours. For example, to me being on time is getting to a 6 p.m. event at 6 p.m., but to my husband it’s arriving 15-20 minutes early. We have very different definitions of punctuality. Figure out their reasons and motives for why they take the time they do to get ready! They probably have very specific reasons and they probably aren’t doing it to be spiteful or disrespectful in anyway. Just talking about these things will open so many doors to finding the core issue!
- Simplify, simplify, simplify. You’re busy, they’re busy, we’re all busy. Most people don’t love coming home to a long to-do list knowing they have limited time to knock off every item but some do! Maybe you’re that person. Maybe your spouse is not. Try to keep what you schedule to a minimum so your spouse doesn’t start to feel overwhelmed. You could even inform whoever you’re meeting and most likely, because they know you and your spouse, they’ll be understanding and grateful for the heads up! Also, try removing any obstacles or distractions that could get in the way. Have the dishes put away ahead of time or keep the TV off. Everyone will be able to move at a quicker rate and improve their punctuality without distractions!
- Create more routines and structure. Having nothing to do is almost worse than having too much to do because things can be put off for too long. If you have a daily routine, such as getting home from work and immediately loading the dishwasher with the dishes from breakfast, sweeping the floor, tidying the room, etc. before doing anything else, it will set more structure in the home and will help during the times you need your spouse to be more time sensitive. You’ll be able to be okay with skipping a step to add more time. Maybe try assigning different tasks so if you finish getting ready first you can do a few chores while they get ready and vice versa.
- Time. Buffer. Personally, I know this works. People have played this trick on me so much that I now have caught on and know when they’re giving me the right times or not! Try telling your spouse you’re needed earlier than you really are so you can assure they’ll be ready on time! Just be aware they may catch on eventually…. then you’ll need a new tactic.
If these tips don’t seem to be working and you feel you’ve tried everything, take a step back. Figure out a way to accept it and move on! If you can, look at yourself to find out why your spouse’s tardiness keeps getting on your nerves. If you need to take two cars, do it. They’ll get the picture. Just make sure you’re doing all you can to stay calm, collected and try to be understanding.
Everyone is different and these tips may not work for your loved one with their punctuality, so test them out! Find what works! I hope I’ve been able to bring more insight into why your spouse is always so late! And remember, they are trying!
Did these tips help? You might find these posts helpful as well!